For those of you who may not know, in June, 2020, my adult son, Joey, who has special needs, had a retina detachment. What should have been a routine surgical repair resulted in three additional surgeries and the loss of his vision. Many of you faithfully prayed for Joey – something I’m eternally grateful for. The result isn’t what I hoped, what I desperately prayed for. I’m sharing our experience over the last two years, hoping it blesses you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers and love for our family. To God be the glory.

 “God responds to prayer because when we look away from ourselves to Christ as our only hope; it gives the Father an occasion to magnify the glory of His grace in the all-providing work of His Son.” 

–John Piper, A Hunger for God

 June, 2020 began as a day of celebration. A homecoming. After months of living with his dad, Joey was home.

Smiles split wide as joy fills our hearts. A bright yellow sign proclaims “Welcome Home.”  Small tokens of love wait on his desk.

I watch fingers smooth wood, grope to find them.

My heart sinks knowing immediately there is a problem.

Stomach clenches while I call the after hours number to speak with the doctor on call. He agrees there’s concern and advises me to make the two-and-a-half hour drive to Miami early the next morning.

This begins a series of eye surgeries followed by complications that give and take away sight. Each corrects a problem, restores sight briefly before another complication clouds and obscures his vision.

The latest is an ulcer of unknown origin on his cornea and a cloudy haze over his entire eye. Nothing reveals the cause so treatment is trial and test. Try this, come back and see if it’s better.

It isn’t better.

Over time, Joey’s vision worsened until he became totally blind in April 2022.

He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all – how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32

 God gives hope not based on a wish but a person.

An eternity, not an outcome

There’s nothing God can’t do.

He works all things for good because He is good.

Nothing is impossible with God.

Hope, real hope isn’t of this world.

It isn’t vision, health or miracles.

It’s hope that holds.

Moth and rust can’t touch it.

Thieves can’t steal it.

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

 Joey doesn’t despair.

He’s not sad.

He doesn’t ask why.

He continues in joy, accepting this new reality, believing he will see.

He loves Jesus.

He prays.

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. Click To Tweet

 In childlike trust, Joey rests in faith.

Faith Jesus is enough because He is.

He is enough.

I won’t sit in sad or disappointment because Joey doesn’t.

He models what it means to not let circumstances define life.

He models faith and trust.

Faith means it’s okay even when it isn’t.

It means God isn’t defined by what happens in my life or the life of someone I love.

It means I choose to believe He is who He says He is and His promises are true.

He is my rock and refuge.

My strong tower.

He makes a way where there is no way.

He loves me.

He is for me.

He loves me so much He came to earth in human form, lived a life of sinless, faithful obedience and died a horrific death on a cross.

Jesus lived the life I couldn’t live to pay the debt I couldn’t pay.

This life isn’t all there is.

Joey’s vision will be restored.

And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Mark 8:36

In the light of His glory and grace, Joey sees just fine.

With my (almost) perfect vision, I stumble and fall.

Question and doubt.

Something shifts and I remember to look away from myself to Christ.

Sigh in surrender.

The Father does what He does and turns water to wine.

Fish and loaves for five thousand.

Clenched hands open and give the Father occasion to magnify His grace in the all-providing work of His Son.

The glory of His grace.

Jesus is here in this place where experts do not know and a son cannot see.

He is all providing.

In a season of weary and hard, He uses these circumstances to shape and sanctify me.

Squeeze out unbelief.

Glorify His Name.

When I look away from me, focus on Jesus, I can be still and know.

Give Him my burden.

Rest in His peace knowing God is sovereign and His promises are true.

There is no burden too big; nothing my Lord can’t handle.

He numbers stars and hairs on heads.

Parts seas.

Brings dead things to life.

Makes blind eyes see.

 

Father God, Lord, Master, King Jesus,

 Thank you. Thank you that you never leave or forsake me. You capture every tear, hear every word. Thank you in this place of desert and drought there is still the joy of Your Presence and knowledge this life isn’t all there is. I pray for my brothers and sisters who are going through difficulty and doubt. For those who grieve. For those stricken with anxiety and uncertainty. For those who don’t know yet know You. I pray You fill them with Your Spirit, draw them near. Help them to feel Your Presence and the comfort of love that never fails. Thank you for Your faithfulness. You are El Roi, the God who sees. You are sovereign and nothing is beyond Your gaze or grasp. Today, let me rest in who You are and allow You to carry my burdens. Help me trust You to provide what I need and know You are working even when I cannot see. And we know in all things God works for the good of those who love Him. Thank you, Father God, Lord Jesus. In Your Precious, Holy, Matchless Name, Amen.