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Losing Control

In those days Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes. Judges 17:6 NLT There is nothing harder than prayer met with silence. A quiet stillness. Prayer without discernable answer. I wait a bit longer. Pray some more. Fine. I guess I have to figure it out and decide. Obviously, God is sleeping. Obviously, He doesn’t hear or understand I need to make a decision. Make a move. In my mind, there’s no…

When You Feel More Like Roadkill than Alive in Christ

Today, I am honored and excited to introduce my first guest blogger, Pearl Allard. I found Pearl’s blog on Instagram earlier this year and instantly fell in love with both her writing and her heart for God. I find her to be authentic and engaging while still challenging me to draw nearer to the Lord. Her blog, Look Up Sometimes, is a Feedspot's Top 50 Christian Women's Blog and has also received the peer nominated Liebster Award. I think you’re…

No Class Required

“Where is my faith? –even deep down, right in, there is nothing but emptiness and darkness – My God – how painful is this unknown pain. It pains without ceasing – I have no faith. I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd in my heart and make me suffer untold agony. So many unanswered questions live within me – I am afraid to uncover them – because of the blasphemy – if there be God, please forgive…

Scent of Sacrifice

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many. Mark 10:45 NIV It was the summer of 1985, a sweltering South Florida sauna. Instead of movies and the mall, I opted for skateboarding and tea parties. I sacrificed my summer for babysitting – or more accurately for freedom. Months earlier, my grandfather made the unattainable attainable with a birthday gift – he offered to…

Free Indeed

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1   A look of disgust then, “You call yourself a Christian?” I do. An imperfect one. One who messes up and gets it wrong. A Christian who sometimes doesn’t look or act like a Christ follower. The yoke of slavery Paul speaks of isn’t sin, it’s legalism. You who are trying to…

Unbirthday

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. Jeremiah 1:5 I knew the truth but fell for a lie. The lie that it was a blob of cells, not a baby. An inconvenience. A problem to eliminate. It was 1983 and my friend was 15. She asked me to go with her to take the test. Planned Parenthood offered tests for…

Plank-Eyed Saint

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Luke 6:41-42 NIV…

Hamster Wheel

For now am I seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 ESV Someone I love is choosing things that aren’t good for them. Destructive things. Things that make me anxious and scare me. I speak into it. They say all the right things and continue as they are. I say more. And more. And…

Garden Weeds

The snake came quietly and the weeds grew tall. Choking weeds that began as seeds - seeds in the heart of a girl. A girl who wanted love and didn’t know her value. A girl who didn’t know she is the daughter of the King Most High and so precious He bled and died for her. A girl who sacrificed herself on the alter of people approval and in striving to win the world, lost pieces of her soul. The…

Dear Church

“You can be sure, the Holy Spirit never enters a man and lets him live like the world.” A.W. Tozer   Dear church of Jesus Christ, church I love, I’m conflicted. I read my Bible and something doesn’t add up. We spend millions on facilities and hundreds on humanity. And my life looks the same. The least get leftovers as I fund my American lifestyle while people around me say it’s okay. Because I tithe. And with every pair of…