Doubting God

September 29, 2017

“It’s not what you are that is holding you back. It’s what you think you are not.”  –Anonymous

 On the outside, I’m a 48 year old wife, mother and Christian. I do all the normal stuff and on a good day, I’m pretty together.

On the inside, I often feel like an awkward, insecure, geeky pre-teen.

I question myself and God.

I question the decisions I make – I must be wrong – I don’t know what I’m doing. Everyone else gets it and I am struggling – trying to keep up and appear as normal as possible.

One day, my quiet time landed on the story of Jesus’ friend Lazarus who was seriously ill. I’ve read the story many times – I know it well.

God in His grace and mercy showed me something new.

Lazarus is dying – desperate travelers find Jesus and ask Him to return to Judea to save His friend – there’s no time to waste. Jesus’ inner circle is immediately concerned:

“But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the Jews there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?”  John 11:8 NIV

 Paraphrased with liberty – “Jesus – are you crazy? Have you forgotten the last time we were there you were almost killed? I know he’s your friend but this is a suicide mission. You’re too important, you have a duty to God – this isn’t a good idea.”

No one is on board with this plan. Jesus replies to their concerns but His followers still don’t get it – only one responds differently:

Then Thomas (also known as Didymus) said to the rest of the  disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with Him.”   John 11:16 NIV

 This man known for doubt is a fierce follower ready to die for His Master.

God showed me doubt is unique to the believer.

 You must first believe something in order to doubt it.

 In fact, there are a number of Bible heroes who doubted God:

  • Job doubted God’s goodness
  • Gideon doubted God’s ability to defeat the Midianites
  • Sarah and Abraham doubted God’s Promise
  • Jeremiah doubted his success in God’s calling
  • Thomas doubted the resurrection

What’s interesting is God considers worry a sin – not so with doubt.

In fact, scripture recounts Thomas hearing news of the risen Savior:

So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he (Thomas) said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in His hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.”   John 20:25 NIV

When Jesus appears, He doesn’t scold or condemn Thomas – instead He stretches out Holy hands for inspection.

And I wonder if doubt is a human response to divine ways we cannot fully comprehend. Click To Tweet

 I wonder if doubt is part of the pathway to faith.

The definition of doubt is:  To call into question the truth of: to be uncertain.

Maybe before we can be certain, we must first be uncertain.

I wrestle and question who God is, what it all really means.

I invite God into my doubt where He faithfully shows up. When I give God my doubt and uncertainty, when I’m brave enough to question what I believe, it often leads to deeper understanding and faith rooted in the experience of God.

Job, Gideon, Sarah, Abraham, Jeremiah and Thomas – doubting God wasn’t the end of their story.

Doubt was the beginning – it served as a launching pad where God’s faithfulness fueled sacrifice, purpose and passion.

When I bring my doubt to God, He faithfully shows up. Click To Tweet

 God is big enough to handle my questions – it’s another way I seek Him and His truth.

Without understanding, I place trembling hands in His, allow Him to lead me where He will.

And when I walk blindly with only a desire to see and know Him, He delights in opening Holy palms to reveal places where nail separated bone.

More about Liz

I'm a free spirit. I hate rules and legalism. I love art and nature, music, the beach and dogs. I like to garden, take pictures and read. I tend to speak my mind and have a rip-the-band-aid -off approach to life. (Brace yourself, this might hurt.)

    1. It seems like you know what I’m thinking. I love reading your blog. You have such a gift. Love you Liz

    1. Wow, Liz! You DO have a gift and today, again, I am blessed by it! I REALLY needed to read this today as I know God already knew and planned that I do so!!!
      Thank you!
      I pray the blessings continue for you and for all those who read what God is obviously sharing through you!
      Be Blessed and Be Well…

      1. Wow Shawn!! Thank you! Your words mean so much ❤️❤️ comments like yours encourage me that God is in this! He is the reason for all of it – so happy He used it in your life. Blessings friend!! ❤️

    1. Liz I love your Blog!! This is me,I try to hold everyday together on the outside but like you say on the inside I feel like im in a world wind.I do doubt God too and I feel bad,this blog is a gift to me I know Im not alone and God understands and loves me anyway! Thank you so much you are a blessing my sister friend!! Love you!! Much Blessings!!

      1. Awww thank you so much Sydell! I’m so happy God connected us and He’s speaking to you through this blog. You most definitely are not alone. Thank you for reading, commenting and reaching out. I love you too sister friend! Blessings back ❤️

      1. So true Barbara! I think when we allow ourselves to question, God is faithful and it can lead to deeper faith and relationship with Him. He is big enough for our questions and frailties. Thank you so much for reading and your great comment! Blessings friend ❤️

    1. Wow! This one really hit home. Thank you for making me feel less alone and misunderstood!

      1. Hey Kat! Your comment makes me feel less alone and misunderstood. ❤️ Always love to read your comments – they bless me and make my day. God loves you just the way you are – He made you that way. Celebrate it and keep seeking Him. You are awesome. ❤️❤️

    1. Thanks Liz, I feel better after reading this! Loved the way you explained doubt…how it actually leads us to a better understanding when we come to God for help with it!❤

      1. Hi Julie! Thanks so much for your comment. I’m happy this was helpful to you. I think God is big enough for my questions and doubt. It comforts me to see I’m not alone in that. I hope you come back and keep adding to the conversation! Blessings friend ❤️

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