Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Matthew 5:6

Sun sinks low as sky turns purple then gold, slips into dusk. Field day ends and hunters weary head home, silhouetted by fading light. He stands taller than the rest – more than a fieldsman, he is the landowner’s son, an heir.

Scent of stew fills the air.

Esau’s stomach grumbles hunger – in that moment, it’s everything he wants. His brother, Jacob stirs the meaty masterpiece as Esau demands, “Let me eat some of that red stew, for I am exhausted!”

Unmoved, Jacob answers, “Sell me your birthright now.”

“I am about to die;” Esau answers, “of what use is a birthright to me?” Jacob seizes the moment, “Swear to me now.” So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil and stew and he ate and drank and rose and went his way, demonstrating Esau despised his birthright.

Inheritance sold for a single meal.

Hunger over Heaven.

What have I got to lose?

I’m starving – if I don’t eat now, I’ll die.

Esau received what he desired, consequences removed and far away – immaterial compared to immediate need.

Belly full, Esau moves on.

Flesh satisfied, he finds no reason to repent.

Until afterward.

Afterward when he desires to inherit his blessing.

Though he cries with tears, he is rejected.

For you know that afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, through he sought it with tears. Hebrews 12:15-17

Hebrews warns habitual sin hardens my heart to a place where it no longer feels like sin – instead, it’s “what I need” or “God understands”.

An illegitimate way I fill legitimate need.

It bypasses God and says He isn’t good or enough – I don’t trust Him to provide, wait in faith or accept His will – I must do it of myself, in my own way and time.

See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; that no one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal. Hebrews 12:15

Bitterness grows from seeds of hurt.

It springs up from places of unforgiveness.

As bitterness grows, I become focused on fixing/medicating/numbing my hurt, pursuing self instead of righteousness and as a result, forfeit my inheritance.

I can’t serve two masters.

My Root of Bitterness

I believed with God’s help, prayer and hard work an unhealthy, destructive, relationship would be redeemed and become a testimony to God’s faithfulness.

The Truth

I didn’t trust God.

God’s promises were for everyone else.

Instead of praying, making hard stands and taking steps of faith, I stayed stuck in self, stuck in the situation and allowed myself to be hurt over and over.

I was also hurtful, only aware of my desperate need to control, fix and resolve.

Collateral damage.

Self imposed asylum.

Bitterness Grew

I didn’t see it – in my mind, bitter people were angry, unhappy people.

I didn’t know bitterness can show up as despair, depression and unbelief – demons of destruction.

The fruit of bitterness is always sin – an attempt by self to soothe hurt, ease the hunger and eat soup at any cost.

Jesus is either all I need or He isn't. Click To Tweet

He is either enough or He’s not.

Actions revealed my true beliefs – He wasn’t.

He wasn’t enough to heal wounds or satisfy desperate need – so I must do it at any cost.

“I am about to die;” Esau answers, “of what use is a birthright to me?”

I gambled inheritance for a single meal.

But God

But God in His grace and mercy, allowed me to see what I was doing, repent and go another way.

His way.

The way.

The way, the truth and the life – Jesus’ way.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

Part of guarding my heart is forgiving those who hurt me.

Letting go of what I want for what God has.

Allowing God’s fruit to grow and uprooting anything that chokes it.

Treasuring my inheritance and the One who paid for it with His own blood.

Relying on God’s Word to resist the tempter and telling him – no soup for sale.

Father God, Lord Jesus,

Thank you for your Word. Thank you that you provide all things – even a way where there seems to be no way, and always a way out. Thank you for who You are – you never lie. I can trust you with my life. Reveal to me the ways I walk in self instead of looking to You. I pray for wisdom and discernment to know Your will. I pray for eyes to see and ears to hear what You would say to me. I surrender my life. Help me to know You and love You better. Show me anything I need to give up and remove from my life that isn’t of You. Thank you for Your grace and mercy. Thank you for the opportunity to stop, repent and go another way – Your way. I love You Father God, Lord Jesus, Holy Spirit. In Your Holy, Precious Name I pray, Amen.