Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. –Matthew 11:29
Sometimes I won’t let go so I get dragged.
I keep hoping things will change and someone will wake up.
I don’t want to accept reality.
The situation is painful and heart breaking – if I just tried harder…..
Insanity makes me insane.
Attempting to fix what is broken.
Playing God because I don’t think He will do what’s needed.
Obviously He needs my help.
Instead of getting out of God’s way, I am the self-appointed fourth in the Trinity.
Doing what’s right in my own eyes.
Convinced I can get them to change
Not trusting God’s ways and plan.
Frustration and control.
Dr. Henry Cloud calls this a “push-pull relationship”. In his book, Never Go Back, Dr. Cloud writes about control:
“….trying to get someone to be or do something they do not wish to be or do. Yet we know it would be good for them – if they would just “get it”. Right? Probably. But they would have to get it. And that is the problem.”
Cloud goes on to say, “The hard thing is to be honest and clear and take responsibility for our own wishes, realizing other people are free to do what they want. Sometimes clear consequences are the only thing that will cause someone to make a choice – whether it’s the choice we want or not. But we can’t control whether they make a choice or the choice they make. We can only be the best we can, offer them the best we have, then allow them to choose.”
Even when their choice isn’t what I want or hope for.
Even when their choice means I must walk away.
God never forces His way, plan or purpose – He always lets me choose.
I’m not greater than God – this means when I won’t let go, I am not only making myself crazy, I’m also in sin.
Attempting to call the shots and play God.
There is no love without freedom.
I’m desperate for this person to change because I need them to.
Convinced it’s about them, it’s really about me.
If they’re okay, I’m okay and I can’t be okay in the current situation.
Can’t live with it, won’t walk away.
There’s only two choices but I invent a third.
I use control, manipulation and emotional blackmail to try and force them do what I need to have peace.
False peace created by a false god.
If “they would just….get it, stop, listen”
It’s for their own good.
Selfishness masked as caring.
I can’t be dragged unless I tie myself to the other person.
When I get to the end of me and surrender to God, He begins to move and work.
When I get honest about my feelings, lay my cards on the table and give choices with consequences, I not only free myself but the other person as well.
Love brings freedom.
Control produces rebellion.
Let go and let God.
Cut ties that bind.
There is no love without forgiveness, no forgiveness without love.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
When I refuse to forgive, I demand something the offender does not choose to give.
It ties me to the person, place or thing.
Set the captive free.
God is able to do what I can’t.
Trust He can and will.
Trust He controls the fall.
Trust He has hope and a future for me and for them.
When I bind myself to another, I’m not free to be who I am created to be.
Stuck in the spin cycle.
King of my throne.
Walk in Christ’s love light.
Love that does not enable but rejoices in truth.
Love that brings praise to God.
No longer a slave to sin.
Sacrifice what I want for what God has.
My ways for His.
Rich in faith.
Alive in Christ.
Saved by grace.
Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Colossians 3:16