March 16, 2018

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. Jeremiah 1:5

I knew the truth but fell for a lie.

The lie that it was a blob of cells, not a baby.

An inconvenience.

A problem to eliminate.

It was 1983 and my friend was 15.

She asked me to go with her to take the test.

Planned Parenthood offered tests for $5.00, no parent required.

We sat in silence, waiting.


I watched color drain from an already pale face.

Panicked eyes met mine.

The woman’s hand extended, a card for an abortion clinic.

“You want to take care of this quickly” she said, “before it becomes a baby.”

“It’s already a baby.” I responded.

The woman gave a patient look then said to my friend, “Right now it’s a blob of cells. It’s early. There’s still time to take care of this and not ruin your life.”

“What about adoption?” I asked.

My friend stared at the floor.

“Adoption is always an option if your friend doesn’t mind not graduating or going to college. This is a critical time in her life.”

My friend took the card and we left – we drove home in silence.

She decided to have the abortion.

I supported her decision – after all, the Planned Parenthood lady said it was a blob of cells.

I had seen photos of fetal development.

I should have known better.

Life changing grief.

My friend never recovered from the experience, the loss.

A year later, she was pregnant again – this time she kept the baby.

I’ve always felt like an accomplice to murder.

Blood on my hands.

A life that will never be.

What better way to attack a child of God than to end life before it begins? Click To Tweet

So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27

I think about that baby and the life it never had.

Was it a boy or a girl?

Would they have changed the world?

Been the next Billy Graham?

The world will never know.

My friend walked out of that clinic carrying grief and shame instead of a baby.

A bundle of guilt instead of joy.

I know she will meet her baby in Heaven.

There’s nothing the cross doesn’t cover.

Jesus redeems the broken – His love is greater than my sin.

He was in that room.

He heard the silent scream.

He never looked away or stopped giving

• Love

• Grace

• Mercy

• Compassion

• Forgiveness

The One without sin, the One who could have thrown the stone never did.

“Neither will I condemn you”.

Love is His response to our most heinous acts and secret sin when given to Him.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

God loves me and my friend.

He died for us.

Bleeding and nailed to a cross He said, “It is finished”.

Tetelestai – a Greek word that means finished.

The word was written across certificates of debt when they were canceled.

Paid in full.

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. Psalm 103:12 NLT

There’s nothing His blood doesn’t cover, nothing His grace can’t forgive.

There is healing and hope.

For me.

For my friend.

“Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.” Isaiah 1:18 NLT

God doesn’t hate me or my friend – He forgives and loves us.

He forgives and loves you too.

If you or someone you love is traumatized by the experience of abortion, there are resources and help. Hope After Abortion is one of many Christian Ministries dedicated to abortion recovery.
More about Liz

I'm a free spirit. I hate rules and legalism. I love art and nature, music, the beach and dogs. I like to garden, take pictures and read. I tend to speak my mind and have a rip-the-band-aid -off approach to life. (Brace yourself, this might hurt.)

    1. Liz, thank you for writing such an important post. So many women and maybe men don’t feel God will accept them once they know or remember the truth.

      May God send these words to hearts who need His forgiveness and cleansing.

      1. Thank you Julie ❤️ your comment, prayer and support mean so much. My prayer, like yours is God will use it. We are in this together sister. ❤️

    1. LIz: Thank you so much for your life experience words of encouragement. Just want to let you and your readers know that although your writings have a female point of view – they never the less hit home for us men. I to carried, and maybe still do, guilt for taking my daughter for an abortion. I thought the father was a real dirt bag low life piece of you know what. He would have been a real controlling factor in my daughters life I thought. Yeap, I rationalized the greater good. I knew it was wrong but carried on anyway – free will and all that stuff. It wasn’t until my 68th year that I realized how hurt the Lord was, but yet he forgave us both. He loves us all but not the sin. To be wiped clean and made new again gives me joy and hope for eternal life. Dont get me wrong….Im not goody two shoes, but I’m on my way! God Bless you. You do touch men with your writings.

      1. Thank you for reading and your comment, loving fan. ❤️ God does love and forgive you – totally and completely. His grace is amazing, all covering and complete. There’s nothing He can’t redeem or forgive. So happy to hear you’re walking with Him. We are all in need of His saving grace – keep doing what you’re doing. Love you brother and friend!

    1. Liz I did the same thing with one of my friends. The guy she was with was addicted to some pretty bad drugs. She was afraid. I have thought about that day my entire life

      1. Hi Nancy! Thank you for reading and your brave comment. I’ve never forgotten either. So thankful for Jesus and His unconditional grace and forgiveness. I wish I had been more of an advocate for life but I was deceived. Jesus loves us even in our missteps and sin – I know because He stretched out His life on the cross while we were all in sin. His love doesn’t depend on what we do – thank goodness! Love you my sister friend. ❤️

    1. Liz thank you for this great post! Your encouragement and support for me and many more appreciate you! God Loves you and your friend. He loves all His children. There is nothing that we can do to separate us from God our Good good Father. Your light shines so bright for Jesus and Your love for God encourages so many to have hope knowing He loves us and never leaves our side.~~Sydell

      1. Hi my sister friend! So well said – He does love all of us, unconditionally. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. God definitely uses you in my life. Thank you for the blessing of your friendship and love. Love you my friend! ❤️

    1. I, too, had a similar situation. My 14 year old friend was pregnant and from an extremely dysfunctional home. The father of the baby was quite a bit older possibly married I don’t remember. She felt there was no other option but to have an abortion. She needed someone to drive her to Planned Parenthood and to pick her up when the procedure was finished. I was 16 and had no words of wisdom, not that my friend would have changed her mind. I have carried this with me all of my life knowing that I played a part in destroying a life. I know Jesus forgave me and my friend, but I will never forget.

      1. Sweet friend – hugs – I understand – I’ve never forgotten either. Thank you for sharing – my prayer is this offers comfort for those who need it. So thankful God’s love and grace covers us. ❤️ Thank you again for sharing your story.

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