Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. Jeremiah 1:5
I knew the truth but fell for a lie.
The lie that it was a blob of cells, not a baby.
A problem to eliminate.
It was 1983 and my friend was 15.
She asked me to go with her to take the test.
Planned Parenthood offered tests for $5.00, no parent required.
We sat in silence, waiting.
I watched color drain from an already pale face.
Panicked eyes met mine.
The woman’s hand extended, a card for an abortion clinic.
“You want to take care of this quickly” she said, “before it becomes a baby.”
“It’s already a baby.” I responded.
The woman gave a patient look then said to my friend, “Right now it’s a blob of cells. It’s early. There’s still time to take care of this and not ruin your life.”
“What about adoption?” I asked.
My friend stared at the floor.
“Adoption is always an option if your friend doesn’t mind not graduating or going to college. This is a critical time in her life.”
My friend took the card and we left – we drove home in silence.
She decided to have the abortion.
I supported her decision – after all, the Planned Parenthood lady said it was a blob of cells.
I had seen photos of fetal development.
I should have known better.
Life changing grief.
My friend never recovered from the experience, the loss.
A year later, she was pregnant again – this time she kept the baby.
I’ve always felt like an accomplice to murder.
Blood on my hands.
A life that will never be.
So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27
I think about that baby and the life it never had.
Was it a boy or a girl?
Would they have changed the world?
Been the next Billy Graham?
The world will never know.
My friend walked out of that clinic carrying grief and shame instead of a baby.
A bundle of guilt instead of joy.
I know she will meet her baby in Heaven.
There’s nothing the cross doesn’t cover.
Jesus redeems the broken – His love is greater than my sin.
He was in that room.
He heard the silent scream.
He never looked away or stopped giving
The One without sin, the One who could have thrown the stone never did.
“Neither will I condemn you”.
Love is His response to our most heinous acts and secret sin when given to Him.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
God loves me and my friend.
He died for us.
Bleeding and nailed to a cross He said, “It is finished”.
Tetelestai – a Greek word that means finished.
The word was written across certificates of debt when they were canceled.
Paid in full.
He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. Psalm 103:12 NLT
There’s nothing His blood doesn’t cover, nothing His grace can’t forgive.
There is healing and hope.
For my friend.
“Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.” Isaiah 1:18 NLT
God doesn’t hate me or my friend – He forgives and loves us.
He forgives and loves you too.