Note from Liz: This is my first post in 8 months – the hardest 8 months of my life. Here’s what I know for sure – God is good and He never lets go. When I am faithless, He is faithful – it says so in His Word – 2 Timothy 2:13. Thank you to my friends, family and readers who encouraged and bugged me to get back to writing. To God be the glory.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19
Words like new start, a brand new page sound shiny and promising.
Hope filled with excitement.
Except sometimes new start means a wish didn’t come true.
It’s an ending, a tragedy.
Something forced because of someone else’s choices.
Instead of promise, I feel pathetic.
Sad, alone and lost.
I pray and cry.
Recite scripture and agree with God’s Word – He never leaves or forsakes me.
He has hope and a future, restores what locusts ate away.
Locusts who eat everything and leave.
Nothing will ever be the same.
Life torn and scattered.
How do you breathe in the thin oxygen of now and not yet?
Christian platitudes won’t help.
I need Christ.
Christ who wept over Lazarus.
Christ whose closest friends betrayed and abandoned Him.
Christ in the garden.
Christ on the cross.
Christ who loved and cried, endured and died.
Died so I could live.
Died to give new life.
A new page.
He lived it so He could understand.He loves us so much, He didn't just come to die, He came to live. Click To Tweet
He came to live the worst parts of living.
Because those who suffer are our greatest comfort.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
He is El Roi – the God who sees.
El Shadid – All Sufficient.
Jehovah Rapha – the Lord who heals
Jehovah-Jireh – the Lord who provides
And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10
My marriage of 31 years recently ended. It was an ending I didn’t want.
I wanted restoration.
I wanted a miracle.
In the middle of the end, I realized it wasn’t going to happen and what I hoped and prayed for wouldn’t occur.
It would be okay because God had something better.
I felt it, I knew it.
It was a new chapter of ministry.
This was what the Lord meant in Joel 2:25 when He said, “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, And praise the Name of the Lord your God.”
Except it didn’t happen.
I can guess and explain but the Lord is powerful – when it’s His will doors swing wide but instead they slammed shut.
Some of it was my fault.
Next my son, who I love with all my heart began to have behavior issues.
His behavior was extreme, persistent and refused correction.
The moment came when I understood he could no longer live with me because I became unable to respond in ways that were helpful.
He had to live with his father…in another state.
The event created guilt and shame while I reeled from his absence.
Being a wife and mom is all I’ve known since I was 19 years old.
I couldn’t think or feel.
When the bottom drops out how do you stand?
I wish I could tell you.
There are days I don’t want to get out of bed – but I do.
I feel numb.
I worship, pray and cry out to God.
I read His Word and go to church.
I love the Lord with all my heart and fight despair that tries to grip it.
I can give you all the right Christian answers.
But night is still here and it’s dark.
I believe morning will come.
I believe God’s promises are true.
I believe He has hope and a future for me…and for you.
I know He is good so that means His ways are too.
I hold onto hope.
I hold onto Jesus.
He fights for me. His Word says all I must do is be still and He fights for me.
He fights for you too.
You and I can have hope because He is the living hope.
He who promised is faithful.
I don’t know what God has for me next – I’m still praying, trying to be still and listen.
I’m learning faith doesn’t mean I don’t experience pain, loss or loneliness. It doesn’t mean there aren’t days I sit in the dark.
It means I trust and believe no matter how I feel, He never lets go.
I belong to Him and He never abandons His kids.
It means when I can’t take another step, I let Him carry me, knowing He will.
In my weakness He is strong.
It’s trusting the promises are true even when there’s no evidence they are.
It’s believing He is good – because He is.
The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows those who take refuge in Him. Nahum 1:7
Are you weary?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint and to him who has no might He increases strength.
He is gentle and lowly in heart and gives rest for my soul.
When I wait on the Lord, He renews my strength.
Gives me wings like eagles so I can soar.
And I will soar.
In Jesus’ Name, I will soar – He makes a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Glory to God.
Father God, Lord Jesus,
Thank you for who You are. Thank you that You never leave or forsake me. You know every tear and Your love never fails. Thank you Lord for both blessing and trial – by Your wounds I am healed. I choose You, Lord Jesus – Your will, Your way. I give you my pain, my circumstances, my life. I trust You will make my paths straight and turn mourning into dancing. Give me beauty for ashes. You are good, true and I praise you both on the mountain and in the valley. My circumstances and life may change but You never do. Thank you that you are faithful and true. I pray for my friends who like me are walking through difficulty and uncertainty. I pray they feel the loving arms of Your comfort, mercy and grace as they persevere and follow You through the desert and thorn bushes. You are worthy. I love you Father God, I love You Lord Jesus, Adonai, I love you Holy Spirit – In Your Precious Name I pray, Amen.